The Twelve Days of Fanfiction
by Huasen-Butter
Summary: My take on the oh-so-popular and oh-so-easy-to-parody holiday song. A jolly musical rant about the godawful fics we have to encounter on the fron page everyday. WARNING: Not for narrow-minded Scrooges  Or Scrooge-ettes .


**It's not Christmas yet, but I'm in a good mood (I finally got the order through for my calendars!), so I decided to put this up!**

**We need more Christmas fics that center around the spirit of the holidays (& not love hotels).**

**This is a parody of the 12 Days of Christmas. It mocks all the badfanfiction there is (I don't think I got them all, but I did get a few important ones).**

**I was inspired by three other parodies of the 12 Days of Christmas (Janice Dickinson's, Bob & Doug's & the 12 Pains of Christmas).**

**I just realized that I never put up a disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX & if I did, I'd hand it over to someone more capable than I.**

* * *

On the first day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Too much Spiritshipping.

On the second day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the third day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the fourth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the fifth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the sixth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the seventh day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the eighth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Eight whores a-breeding,  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the ninth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Nine villains raping,  
Eight whores a-breeding,  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the tenth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Ten thousand typos,  
Nine villains raping,  
Eight whores a-breeding,  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Eleven lousy duelists,  
Ten thousand typos,  
Nine villains raping,  
Eight whores a-breeding,  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,  
Fanfiction sent to me  
Twelve hundred plot holes,  
Eleven lousy duelists,  
Ten thousand typos,  
Nine villains raping,  
Eight whores a-breeding,  
Seven jealous bitches,  
Six Yugi cameos,  
FIVE BITCHING FLAMES!  
Four smutty lemons,  
Three death threats,  
Two Mary-Sues,  
And too much Spiritshipping!

* * *

**Explanations:**

12: So many discrepancies, so few IQ points.

11: The duels in some fics are the kind that LittleKuriboh makes fun of.

10: Spellcheck: it exists. (On FFnet, too geniuses)

9: It got old real fast (and now it's barely clinging to life support).

8: Birth control for OCs now available at your local(fictional) CVS.

7: It's amazing that so many FEMALE AUTHORS think that being FEMALE automatically means babies, PMS, catfights and lots of issues. (It's a disgrace, I tell ya.)

6: "Hi! I'm here to give you a GOD-MODDED card & now I'm going off to explore the world & randomly pop in at DA to give you advice! See you in about 10 chapters!"

5: "OMG! HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE HER! SHE IS TEN TIME'S THE AUTHOR YOU WILL EVER BE! NOOB11! WHO CARES IF THE PLOT IS LAME? IT'S AWESOME! -revs chainsaw-"

4: Sometimes, I think I get more excitement watching "Dora the Explorer" than reading "cookie cutter" lemons.

3: -See number 5- "I know where you live -insert victim's name incorrectly-! I WILL STALK YOU WITH FLAMES EVEN IF YOU BLOCK ME BITCH!"

2: I feel sorry for all those boys who "stared & gaped at her BEAUTIFULLY GORGEOUS hair/face/clothes/body". They must have caused quite a traffic jam.

1: This pairing is being done to death in so many ways, it has become immortal. Logic: it fails here. (That doesn't mean that I still don't support it :D)

**The ones that I wanted to add in (but didn't have enough space) were:**

_ Judais cutting. (Oh the angst)

_ Family feuds (Normal families are so boring, don't ya think?)

_ Gary Stues (Same as Mary Sues, but less common)

_ Semes pounding (Yea...too R-rated)

_ Ukes crying (Have you ever seen a character cry onscreen? Other than Johan, but that's only cuz Jerry Beans Man was getting ripped.)

_ Cheapo decks (Play Tag Force or some Yu-Gi-Oh! related game or just use the Wiki for Pete's sake! Building a deck shouldn't be that hard!)

_ Lousy parodies (Some parodies tend to just go way off. Kind of like _Those Crazy Obelisks_. I ended up getting confused after the 20th chapter.)

_ Stolen plots (Feel free to ignore copyright infringement & take all you want from movies, Disney, other shows, Disney, shoujo manga and did I mention Disney?)

_ Sappy endings (You marry an immortal, you become immortal. You don't live happily with them for several decades before dying and having them live on without you. No, clearly, that's not _Twilight_-y enough.)

_ Cardboard cutouts (OOC & AU are not excuses. That's like saying "But I was drunk!" to the guy whose wife you just ran over.)

**Feel free to yell out this song, mix up the lyrics or flame it. Merry Christmas and I hope your town gets buried in snow. (Unless you live somewhere hot, in that case: "Sucks to be you.")**


End file.
